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The guy in the picture to the right is Simeon Williamson, a British runner who is England's best chance of winning an Olympic sprint medal next month in Beijing.

If there was any question of where Williamson gets his speed, this article provides the answer: He gets it from his grandmother, 78-year-old Pearline Williamson, who had her purse stolen by a young woman recently, only to run her down and get the purse back. Pearline explains:

"The thief must have thought I was an easy touch because I'm elderly. ...

"When she took my purse I had to do something so I ran after her and grabbed her as hard as I could.

"She said she hadn't taken it at first, so I shook the life out of her until she finally gave it back. ...

"It makes me so mad when people try to take your things," she said. "Back in my day you had to work so hard for every penny."

I think Pearline just earned her grandson a lot of older fans.

Hat tip: Steady Burn.

Moments after Fedor Emelianenko's dominant win over Tim Sylvia Saturday night, the best mixed martial arts heavyweight in the world was asked who he'd like to fight next, and he gave the answer the fans wanted to hear: Randy Couture.

But contractual issues will apparently keep that fight from happening, and today a source who knows both Fedor and Andrei Arlovski told me that a Fedor-Arlovski fight is "90 percent" finalized. DreamFighters.com also quotes Fedor as saying he will fight Arlovski next.

The only potential stumbling block is that Arlovski wants to give professional boxing a try, and it's still possible that he'll choose to box in the fall and not step into the MMA ring again until 2009.

It appears, however, that Arlovski will fight Fedor before he puts on the boxing gloves. Although Fedor is obviously the favorite, Arlovski is a hard striker who would have a puncher's chance at beating Fedor, especially if he can cut Fedor's face early. Fedor-Arlovski is a fight every MMA fan will want to see.

Earlier this week, Will Ferrell showed up for promotional appearances on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and MTV's Total Request Live sporting this old school Chelsea jersey. This pretty much ensures that no self-respecting Gooner will ever spend a dime on his movies again.

Ferrell is the newest addition to Chelsea's offcial Celebrity Fans list. He's up there with Michael Caine, Owen Wilson, Tara Reid, Busta Rhymes and Guy Ritchie. Sounds like a really crappy film waiting to happen, doesn't it?

(H/T: Unprofessional Foul)

No longer is Marques Colston one of the league's best bargains.

After setting the record for most receptions in a player's first two seasons (168) to the tune of 2,240 yards and 19 touchdowns, the former seventh-rounder set to earn $445,000 agreed to a much-deserved extension with the Saints that will better reflect his play.

It's a three-year extension that will lock him up through 2011, and while the financial terms aren't disclosed, I would expect him to get around $7 million annually with $15 million guaranteed. But that's just my personal hunch, and I'm almost always wrong about everything, so take this with the appropriate grain of salt. There was no doubt the Saints would keep Colston past his rookie deal, but getting it out of the way before training camp, in a year which the team has ample cap room, was important.

There's no reason to not expect Colston to maintain, or improve, his numbers this year. He and Drew Brees have developed an obvious rapport, and he lacks the diva complex that plagues most receivers. Plus, I don't know if you've heard, but Jeremy Shockey is on the team now, and he's going to give Colston some room to move. When he's not extracting revenge on the Giants, that is.

There's not need to bore you with the Steve Bartman story -- he came, he reached, the Cubs choked, we all moved on (except Cubs fans, they stink at moving on; see above). But there was a fascinating little twist to his plot of eternal terror today, as the Orlando Sentinel reports that he got offered $25,000.00 to de-hermitize himself and sign a single autograph.

SportsBuy.com and the National Sports Collectors Convention are offering $25,000 -- a briefcase with 250 $100 bills inside -- to infamous Chicago Cubs fan Steve Bartman if he comes out of hiding attends the show and signs a single autograph.

[...]To collect the cash, all Bartman has to do is show up at the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center in Rosemont, Ill., at 1 p.m. on July 31, prove his identity and sign a photograph of the infamous play. It will then be auctioned on the Web site with the proceeds going to a Chicago-based charity, according to a news release for the publicity stunt event.

Three thoughts. First of all, Chris Olds, slow your roll on the strikethrough. (And yeah, I'm totally guilty of it myself, but it actually needs to be funny the objects should be more diametrically opposed.)

You have to admire this guy's determination:

That was an athlete who had already finished the 1,500-meter swim and 40-kilometer bike ride portions of the New York City Triathlon and was just steps away from finishing the 10-kilometer run when a leg cramp caused him so much pain that he just couldn't go anymore.

But when the medics arrived, he refused treatment and started crawling toward the finish line. Not quite as impressive as Claire Markwardt, but still: Very well done, sir.

Via Animal New York.

So much for my brilliant plan to save the Bears' season: move Rex Grossman to running back, try Kyle Orton at wideout and make Devin Hester the quarterback. The organization was able to extend the contract of middle linebacker Brian Urlacher, and sign first-round pick Chris Williams, but the most dangerous returner in the league was a no-show for the first day of work.

Apparently, Chicago's primary scoring threat thinks he's worth more than the two years and $2.86 million remaining on his rookie contract. I can't imagine anybody would disagree, particularly the Bears who, according to the Chicago Sun-Times, were in the process of hammering out a new deal:

Holding [Hester] out of camp is an interesting strategy since the Bears set precedent by re-doing Urlacher¹s contract because the player successfully argued he outplayed the value of the deal despite having four years remaining on it. Urlacher was considered a unique situation in the eyes of the franchise because of his status as a potential Hall of Fame talent.

Hester can make the same argument, and in fact, his value to the Bears might be even greater considering his contribution to a team with a moribund offense.

Content not just to punch Atlanta's fans in the groin area by letting Josh Childress get away, Hawks boss Rick Sund delivered what has to be one of the worst explanations in recent memory. (Kevin McHale's postscript on the Dwane Casey firing can't be beat, though.) From Hoopsworld:

"We were informed this morning by Josh Childress' representatives that he has signed with Olympiakos in Greece, and we want to wish him the absolute best with his future career in FIBA." [...]

The fact is Atlanta's offer was the best Childress could get - in the NBA. Atlanta chose not to compete with the offer from Olympiacos Piraeus. "I can only compete in the league I play in," justified Sund.

First: FIBA is the governing body of international basketball competition, not the European league or clubs. Childress and Olympiakos have nothing to do with FIBA. Team USA and Herr Kaman and Grover impersonators ... that's FIBA.

The "I can only compete in the league I play in" line is pure horse manure. Atlanta was in a better position than any other team in the world -- NBA or Euroleague -- to retain Childress's services. Basically, as long as you don't insult him, you'll keep him. The situation never gets this far if the Hawks had been willing to pay Childress real market value. (There are reports circulating that Childress received offers better than what Atlanta offered from contenders seeking sign-and-trade deals. Those offers become the market value. Atlanta dismissed them and did not increase their offer to that level. There's the insult.)

The only thing worse than Sund's lazy, laughable argument is watching the Hoopsworld writer (Jason Fleming) carry water for the Hawks. "Kudos to the Hawks for not bowing to pressure," he writes. Is that a joke?

That Atlanta retains the domestic rights to new Euroleague star Josh Childress has been discussed. Basically, if Chills comes back to the States next summer, he is still a restricted free agent of the Hawks. If he signs an offer sheet with another NBA team, Atlanta can match. The situation remains the same for two seasons.

This is a boon to Atlanta, right? Maybe not. Carrying the rights to a restricted free agent comes with a burden: the associated cap hold. The cap hold is a mechanism of the NBA's collective bargaining agreement which prevents a team from subverting the salary cap by signing outside free agents before re-signing their own. It's pretty complicated, and Larry Coon explains it with more clarity than you'll ever find under my byline. If you need the details, read them there.

Here's what matters for Atlanta: Childress carries a cap hold of $14.5 million. Assuming the Hawks can manage to retain Josh Smith for about $10 million a year, Atlanta figures to be about $20 million under the salary cap next summer. (Mike Bibby and Zaza Pachulia are coming off the books.) That can buy a mighty fine free agent. But unless Atlanta renounces its rights to Childress -- meaning Chills would no longer be a restricted free agent, he could sign with any NBA team and the Hawks wouldn't have matching rights -- $14.5 million of that cap space will be locked up in that cap hold. That means Atlanta would have only roughly $5.5 million of space, and that's less than the mid-level exception. The Hawks would then have no cap space, and would be in the same boat as 85% of the NBA.

If the Hawks had overpaid Childress with, say, an $8 million annual contract, they would be able to go get a $12 million player in free agency next year ... and they'd have Childress's production! Instead, nothing and nothing. Good work, Sund.

It was one of the most interesting stories around the NFL draft -- Army safety Caleb Campbell taking advantage of a new rule which would allow him to defer his service in order to play football. When the Lions drafted him in the seventh round, he got a standing ovation.

Much talk ensued about whether or not Campbell should be allowed what some considered privileged status while his classmates were going to have to serve as usual, but it's all moot now; the Army has rescinded the opportunity, and Campbell must temporarily forfeit his dream.

Campbell will have to fulfill his service to the Army, and may apply for a release, freeing him for a career in football, in May 2010. There is yet to be an explanation or statement regarding the change in policy, but I hope this part of the story doesn't fade away. Regardless of your political leanings, the Army received a lot of good publicity for allowing Campbell to play, and at the very least they should face equal attention while being forthright about why they've apparently changed their minds on the eve of his first training camp.